I am drunk. The other week, somebody said that a tropical typhoon is going to beat up the city today. I am done with the stupid state board exam this morning, but where the hell is the typhoon? I just came home from a lousy bar, took in a bottle of beer and my stomach feels like a non-stick pan right now. To hell with all the exams of the world. This is really weird. The sun was all over the place today. Am I just getting confused because all the while I thought it’s going to be a rainy Friday night? The mother must be smiling jubilantly right now: her blackmail worked on me. How was I not stupid in falling into one of her hair-brained ideas and took the board exam? I need the typhoon right now. I swear to my father’s grave I could spit on the exam paper!
It’s not a matter of question now whether I passed or failed the exam. I was blackmailed by The Mother to take the exam, what more can be derogatory? I took the bait, and hell was I naive. Now passing it is The Mother’s entire problem. My failing it is her entire fault. That problem was mine for two harrowing days, not to mention the incalculable dim hours that precede as I watch the moon kissed the sun, and the great pretense of answering the exam problems at the point of Pollock abstraction. My beer belly is heavy with madness. Damn this alcohol. I need a typhoon, I don’t care what name you got.
I am drunk, and I didn’t really want to take the board exam. I didn’t want to fucking take it because it’s useless, and it’s moronic. I am so over myself and I am so arrogant. Believe me, I really hated the board exam. Right now, I smell like a concoction of a fermented coconut sap, and brown tropical fruit called chico. I never really get The Mother every time she whines when I tell her I don’t have plans to take the state exams before. I am discriminating. I have a graduate school to go to this September. And I would tell her the licensure has no weight on what I would be doing in the next few years, first because I would be in a foreign country and that I don’t have plans on working here, in tropical third-worldness. Besides, I hate our government, and the government gives those exams.
And what the hell did come to me? That I suddenly swallowed all the mushiness of my angst and gave in to The Mother’s blackmail? Sometimes I would like to believe The Mother is doing a social experiment on me. I am the guinea pig and the guinea pig is submitted to take an exam without the guinea pig’s approval (of course). But prior to this, the guinea pig was made to run on a cartwheel, in the laboratory, to stress the poor subject to do all else but prepare for the exam. The mother has a way of telling the guinea pig to do everything she wants. The guinea pig can only whimper.
I so hate the board exam, I so hate it I just want to get more drunk than I am now. What I am now is terrible. I think it’s going to rain tomorrow.
hey mike! i see the rantings about The Mother has not stopped. but don’t sweat it, you’re an engineer now. and you’re going to japan soon. given the recent china earthquakes, you’d be a precious seismic engineer. cheers to you mike!
Posted by kat at May 19, 2008, 4:09 pm
20 something, quarter-life crisis, loss of love, name it, nothing's weird.
hi crazy! happy mother’s day to The Mother
let’s meet this friday ha before i leave… i’m just sad i didn’t find the sweater i told u about. i have no parting gift.. 
Posted by joane at May 11, 2008, 9:59 pm